In Pursuit of Perfection: Approval

“A realist is just a pessimist in disguise.”

Or so my husband sagely observed when I was playing devil’s advocate in yet another one of our conversations. For some reason, whenever we’re making plans, I feel obligated to point out how unlikely it is that everything will go as we hope. For this reason I tend to propose way too many backup plans and alternate options. I consider this being realistic, although I can see where my (optimistic) hubby could confuse it with flat-out pessimism.

Why Perfectionists Are Often Pessimists

But the thing is, those of us who notice the constant struggle against entropy and Murphy’s law know that the pursuit of a perfect plan, like the pursuit of a perfect anything in this life, is sure to go awry at some level. So what’s a body to do? Give up or try harder? So far I’ve chosen to try harder, but after meditating on the truths I’m about to share with you, I may just wave the white flag and join Team Optimist sooner than later. At least they can go with the flow.

So what I’ve been struggling with, as you may remember from last time, is the fact that I can never get what I want out of my ceaseless toil. But that’s because what I want isn’t actually perfection; it’s approval, identity, and rest. As I dug deeper into those desires in light of the Bible, I found some hard news and some good news. Today we’ll look at our need for approval, and we’ll save identity and rest for next time.

The Problem with Approval

So when I work myself to the bone on a project, a gift, or even a simple house task, what am I hoping to gain from it? Sure, part of it is for personal satisfaction. I genuinely like to work hard, as nerdy as that is to admit. But would I do the exact same quality of work if I knew that no one would ever see and recognize how much I’d done? Honestly, I doubt it. I’ve recently realized how much I desire approval for my work because it feels like approval of me.

But it’s not just people whose approval I crave; it’s God’s, too. And that’s the kicker, really. I may get a temporary boost to the ol’ ego when people applaud my achievements, but it doesn’t last. I know that God’s approval is the one that really matters, but how can I know when I’ve gotten it, really?

A Familiar Parable

As I thought about approval, the Bible passage that came to mind was the parable of the servants in Matthew 25. You may be familiar with the story: a master entrusts money to three servants and then leaves town for a while. When he comes back, two of the servants had used the money wisely and doubled what he’d given them, but the third servant had merely hidden the money and gained nothing. The master was pleased with the first two servants but angry with the third. So there’s biblical proof that it’s better to work hard to gain God’s approval rather than slack off and hope he lets it slide. Right?

Wrong-o. On a quick read through, that’s what I’d be tempted to think, but the reality is far different. Listen to the dialogue. The first and second servants basically say, “Here, master. You gave me a lot of money to take care of, and I doubled it while you were away.” The master replies, “Well done, you good and faithful servant. You were faithful. Enter into my joy.”

“I Know You”

But the plot thickens when you hear what the third servant says: “Master, I know you’re harsh and demanding, always taking what you haven’t earned. I was afraid of you, so I hid your money to avoid getting in trouble. Here you go.” The master commands him to be thrown out into the darkness, calling him wicked, lazy, and worthless. Ouch.

But really, aside from lacking tact, what was so wrong with what the third servant did? Did the master really need money that badly? I doubt it; instead, I think the problem can be boiled down to the phrase, “Master, I know you.” That’s where he went wrong; he assumed he knew the heart of the master, but in reality he didn’t. It seems like the servant was assigning blame to cover his own guilt. He was lazy, so he accused the master of being demanding. What outraged the master wasn’t the failure to double his money; it was the arrogant accusation of the servant. He didn’t understand the master’s heart.

Throw Me a Party

But imagine what would have happened if the first servant had come to the master and said, “Here’s your profit, Master. I knew that if I worked my fingers to the bone while you were gone, you would think I was so awesome that you’d throw a party in my honor and tell everyone how proud you are of my hard work and how you wish they’d all be more like me. I know the way to your good graces is by proving how wonderful I am.” (That may remind you of the hard-working but prideful older brother in the parable of the prodigal son.)

Would the master have smiled indulgently and said, “You sure are a hard worker, Servant Number 1! That’s why you deserve to come into the joy of my kingdom”? Certainly not. I have a feeling this guy would have been out on the curb with the third servant. While it’s not quite as insulting to the master, this imaginary workaholic’s response still shows that he doesn’t truly know the master.

The Least of These

So if God doesn’t rejoice in ignorant sloth or arrogant service, then what does he value? I believe the very next parable in Matthew 25 answers that question. It takes place at the final judgment where God is sorting humanity into two groups: those on his right in the place of honor, and those on his left in the place of rejection. Those who are honored and welcomed into the kingdom are those who did simple tasks with humble hearts. They cared for the hungry, thirsty, lost, naked, sick, and imprisoned because their love for God overflowed into practical, unpretentious service to “the least of these.”

At last, we see what God values. It wasn’t their completed to-do lists that earned them a place in the kingdom; rather, their love for God resulted in slow and steady service to those who could never repay them. That’s how God loves us, and that’s how he enables us to love others. Will we ever do this well enough to deserve God’s approval? Nope. The only way God can accept us and make us faithful is by putting us in Christ—giving us Jesus’ perfect record and motivation. He is the only servant who was perfectly faithful and worthy of hearing, “Well done,” but he delights to extend that acceptance to every believer. ¹ Praise God!

In Conclusion

While there is much more to be said on the subject of salvation and imputation, today I simply want to revel in the truth that, as believers, approval isn’t something we need to strive for; it’s something we have already. The more we know the heart of the Father, the more we’ll understand that. The third servant didn’t know the father, and the older brother didn’t care about him, but the humble servants knew him and loved him. That is the mission most worth doing and the only one that brings eternal approval. Now that’s something even a pessimist can get excited about!

Check out the next post here!

¹https://rabbitroom.com/2018/02/behind-the-song-well-done-good-and-faithful/