Thanksgiving at Christmas

Posted on December 23, 2022 by Emily Zaiser Wade

Hello, dear friends! It’s the most wonderful time of the year, and I hope you’ve been enjoying it to the fullest. I know it’s Christmas time, but I’ve actually been thinking about thanksgiving—not the holiday, but the action. Believe it or not, these musings were inspired by the Christmas movies I’ve been watching.

This year I noticed a common theme in three vastly-different Christmas stories: A Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life,and the Home Alone movies. Think I’m crazy? Maybe, but not about this.

Ebenezer, George, and Kevin

All three stories center around a man (or boy) who has an important lesson to learn. At first glance they seem to have nothing in common, but consider their attitudes. All three characters are discontent and miserable, and they’re determined to make other people feel the same way. In short, they’re not thankful.

But they don’t stay that way. Dickens’ A Christmas Carol shows Scrooge turning from a curmudgeon to a saint literally overnight. Was it because his life had changed? Nope. Just his perspective. In It’s a Wonderful Life, George Bailey has a similar experience when he gets a glimpse of the positive impact his seemingly-terrible life has made. Even rotten little Kevin McCallister experiences an epiphany when he gets his wish to make his family disappear. Life without them isn’t nearly as great as he’d expected, and he realizes he loves them after all.

Mary’s Grief and Glory

It’s no coincidence that three of the most enduring Christmas classics share the theme of discovering thankfulness. I tend to focus on what I want to change rather than the blessings I’ve been given, and I think this tendency is pretty universal. But Christmas gives us time to stop and reflect on gifts—not just the ones under the tree, but the ones that God has given us as well. Whether they’re the gifts we want or the gifts God knows we need, the day will come when we will be able to thank him for them.

The central character of the Christmas story is clearly Jesus. We celebrate the humble beginnings of his brave and selfless rescue plan, and we rejoice. But another important character is Mary. I wonder how she felt when she brought Jesus into this dirty, broken world. What went through her mind as she watched him grow to become worshiped by some and despised by others? What was in her heart as she witnessed the brutality of the cross and the incomprehensible miracle of the resurrection? She certainly rejoiced at the news that she would bear God’s Son, but the angel warned that a sword would pierce her heart. With so much glory entwined with so much grief, I’m sure sorrow and thankfulness often wrestled inside her. That’s a feeling we can all relate to.

My Grief and Glory

Recently we celebrated my son’s fourth birthday. With his birth being just five day before Christmas, Isaiah gave me ample reason to contemplate the miracle of birth, the humility of Jesus’ humanity, and the endurance of sweet Mary. I chose to birth Isaiah at home, and I enjoyed 46 hours of labor before his massive melon head came bursting into the world. He was immediately surrounded by love, snuggled up to his daddy and me, covered warmly, and tended to with all the care he needed. There was nothing lacking, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. In contemplating his birth, I have so much to be thankful for.

My second baby, Eva, will turn two in February. We had hoped for a second home birth, but as the ultrasounds showed some abnormalities, we opted for a hospital birth instead. I was heartbroken at the loss of a peaceful home birth. She came a month early and had surgery the morning after she was born. The next two months were spent in NICU. My husband and I had to take turns visiting her because of Covid protocols. It was hard to hold her with all the tubes, cords, and wires dangling from her little body. For weeks at a time it felt like she wasn’t improving and we’d never get out of there.

Grasping for Gratitude

With Isaiah’s birth, my thankfulness was instant, complete, and clearly warranted. Despite the long labor and difficult arrival, I had a healthy boy in my arms. My heart was full of gratefulness. But with Eva’s birth, I had to look deeper to find cause for thankfulness. It was well worth the search, though, because just under the fear and sorrow was a wealth of blessings waiting to be acknowledged.

Eva’s condition—while far from idea—was operable. Eva made a slow but complete recovery. Family and friends supported us with love and help. Because she was fed via IV for well over a month, I was able to donate thousands of ounces of my milk to babies who needed it. And through it all, God taught us things that we could never have learned another way. God had given us not what we wanted but what he knew we needed.