Snapshots of Thankfulness

Since my wedding, I’ve been making photo books as a gift every Christmas. No, not scrap books with stickers and mementos and sentimental Band-Aids and such. Just online photo assembly that gets printed and shipped. But honestly, I’ve made several of each style, and I almost think the scrapbook is easier. Maybe my next job should be a consultant for how to make online photo book assembly more user-friendly. (My first suggestion: arrange the uploaded photos CHRONOLOGICALLY!)

But there’s one blessing about the hours and hours and hours of time spent poring over every picture from the past year: I get to remember. This year as I sifted through thousands of photos, I vividly remembered the emotions behind them, the stories going on in the background, and the miraculous things God has done. 

A Rocky Start

If you tracked with Past Watchful Dragons through 2021, you know it was a doozy of a year for my family. I was expecting our second baby, and just before Christmas 2020 we found out that her stomach appeared abnormal in an ultrasound. Our midwife explained several possible causes, some less concerning and some more so. (Lots of happy memories that Christmas, but lots of fear in the background of each picture.) 

We pursued follow up testing and learned that our little girl had a blockage that prevented her stomach from passing fluid. We wouldn’t be able to have a second home birth, our baby would need surgery, and she’d have to stay in the hospital for a while. (Pictures of us having fun with our clueless two-year-old son who wondered why I cry every time we talk about the baby in my tummy.) 

The baby came early, and God gave us a safe and speedy delivery. We named her Evangeline Sparrow because we wanted her story to spread the good news of God’s love and care for even the smallest life. (Pictures of our fragile little Sparrow hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires. Thankfulness, sadness, and fear behind my smiles in the hospital.)

A Long Recovery

God allowed for a successful surgery and a long recovery. We were told to expect as little as two weeks before we were discharged, but it ended up being two months. (Countless pictures of our tiny girl sleeping in our arms in hospital chairs. So many pictures that look the same but carry different connotations of the procedures or updates from that week. A couple of them still make me feel like hyperventilating.) 

Meanwhile, our son was having a blast with friends and family who so willingly stepped in to play with him while we were visiting the NICU. We made the most of our time with him when we were home, and while he may have been confused about how little he saw us, I know he made great memories during those months. (Pictures of the three of us on a carousel or playing in the snow between hospital visits. Memories of my fear that we weren’t being good enough parents.)  

A Joyous Homecoming

But the best time was when our sweet Eva finally came home. (Pictures of smiles that can’t capture the shock and relief that we were finally busting out of there.) What a sweet memory when she could finally come home to meet her brother and stay with us forever. In that moment with NICU behind us, we were an invincible, inseparable family. (Pictures of pure, untarnished, sleep-deprived joy.)

The months that followed were full of crazy stress as we navigated Eva’s medicine schedule, hospital checkups, and health concerns. Add to that Isaiah’s desire to get our attention by displaying that he inherited his mama’s strong will. (Pictures of Eva’s first smiles and Isaiah loving on his sister. Memories of how worn thin I was as I tried to keep them both alive all day. My standards were pretty low for a while there.) But we were together, and that’s what we’d been praying for.

A New Normal

Pictures of the passing weeks reminded me how thankful I was. I may have been stressed and tired, but I was so, so happy. We were able to drop Eva’s medications one at a time until the seemingly-endless rounds of pumping, feeding, medicines, washing, and repeating slowed down to a normal pattern of nursing. That was a monumental milestone. 

And Isaiah learned how to be a big help and a big ham. That guy can always make us laugh with his insights, questions, and faces. He’s a precocious weirdo, and we have so much fun with him. Popsicles on the swing, walks to the playground, swimming in the pool, romping in the mud, trips to the orchard, eating snow—life with a toddler is a (tiring) blast.

This wasn’t how I expected 2021 to begin, but I am so thankful for the way it ended. I’m thankful for the countless ways that God showed His love to our family. And I’m thankful for pictures that remind me of the way small, daily graces trickle into an ocean of peace. It was a good year after all.

A New(ish) Identity

Yes, but isn’t this a literary blog? Do I plan to write about family as often as story? Has my identity shifted from scholar to mother? The short answer is, “Meh, kind of.” I’m finally in a place where I can read a bit in the evenings if the kids stay asleep, and that fills up the void in my brain where big thoughts used to live—thoughts that didn’t center around meal planning, dirty diapers, and mountains of laundry. I’ve polished off a decent stack of books in recent months, and I have some bookish posts in the works that I think you’ll really enjoy. 

But the fact is, I’m a mom now, and mom stuff takes up a lot of my time. Sometimes I’ll probably write about that stuff, trusting that you’ll be patient with me in this season of life. After all, it’s the daily minutia that really make up our lives anyway. Hopefully you’ll find some of it relatable. 

And on that note, I’ve got some daily minutia to take care of now, so I’d better wrap this up. I hope you can see God’s hand at work throughout your past year, too. If you have a hard time remembering the specifics, try making a photo book. Or, better yet, make a scrapbook, and don’t forget the sentimental Band-Aids. Happy New Year, my friends!