Lifelong Passion vs Side Hustle

These days, my lifelong passion and my side hustle have been duking it out in the tiny ring of my spare time, and it feels like a total KO for passion.

Tale as Old as Time

My tale of woe is a common one: 

• Girl comes to love writing at a young age
• Girl pursues writing as part of a college degree, hoping to make a career of it
• Girl gets a job in education instead, writing in her spare time
• Girl gets married and has kids
• Girl no longer teaches and has far less time to write
• Girl gets a side gig as an editor to offset the insane cost of diapers and organic apples
• Girl wonders if she’ll ever have time to write in more than 10-minute increments again

Sound familiar? I’m sure that, swapping out a few details here and there, it might just be the story of your life as well. It’s basically the story of responsible adulthood: duty trumps desire. 

So Much to Do; So Little Time

The first summer I was married, I would get up with my husband at 4:15 a.m. He would leave for work, and I would spend the day doing about 7 million things and being the most productive I’ve ever been in my life. It’s amazing how much you can get done when you wake up 4 hours earlier than usual. Sadly, that habit fell by the wayside when I started teaching again in the fall, and I once again joined the ranks of mere mortals who do things at normal times. I still got plenty done, but it was nothing to brag about.

Now that I have little kids, it feels like I’m barely scraping by with the things I need to do. Keeping a family running is a full-time job, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. When the economy took a nosedive and my eyes started bulging at the total on my grocery receipts, I felt like I should find a way to help out. Did I have to? No, we would have been just fine on my hubby’s salary. But if there was a way I could add a little padding to the budget, I wanted to do it. 

Enter, my illustrious career in freelance editing.

There Goes Free Time

Before I began editing, I had about an hour between putting the kids to bed and starting to watch an episode of a show with my husband, during which I would inevitably fall asleep. Sometime I used the hour to catch up on things I didn’t manage to do when the kids were awake, but I also tried to work on writing picture books as much as possible.

But now any semi-quiet moment finds me plugging away at my side hustle, editing. I’m thankful for the source of in-home income, and I actually enjoy the work (#nerdstatus), but I also feel guilty. I feel like I should be able to do it all. If only I got up earlier, worked faster, and disciplined myself more, then maybe I’d be able to write some groundbreaking children’s books while spinning the rest of my plates.

Enough Is Enough

As I’m sure you’ve experienced in your own life, it just isn’t possible to do everything well. Sure, it’s possible to do everything in a mediocre way for a little while, but the cost is always greater than the profit. My husband knows this about me and is the first one to caution me against taking on one more thing (even if it’s a good thing) when I’m already at maximum capacity. Emily-on-overload isn’t fun for anyone.

Ultimately, I need to realize that enough is enough. When I’ve done my best during the day, it is enough. The rest of my tasks can wait. That’s a hard pill to swallow for my type A++ personality, but it’s the only way to survive this season of life. If there are tasks left over after I’ve put in a good day’s work, they can be saved for another day. This includes housework, editing, and even writing. Resting is an equally-important task. (Or so they tell me.)

Throwing in the Towel

All right, so there are only so many working hours in a day, I can’t do everything, and I’m supposed to prioritize rest. So will I let my love of writing tap out, or will I fight until my sanity slumps, bloody, against the ropes? Neither, I hope. What I need to do is re-prioritize. That may mean writing in small scraps of time instead of scrolling on my phone. Sometimes it may mean writing instead of doing the dishes. It may even mean asking for a bit less editing work to make more time for writing. But one thing is certain: it means lowering my expectations for this season. 

Raising little ones is hard work. They’re currently at an all-day, hands-on stage. I’m enjoying (nearly) every moment of it, but mental and emotional exhaustion is just the reality right now. Thankfully, I know it won’t always be this way. In a few years when my kids are happily playing together in the back yard without ending up in 101 perilous situations, I may wipe a tear from my eye, remembering days like yesterday when I played with them all morning long and had a lovely time. But then I’ll get comfy on the back patio swing, pull out my laptop, and start writing. 

What About You?

Let’s get personal. Do you have too many plates spinning? Are you frazzled and spastic? Are you frustrated that you can’t do it all? It may be time to say, “Enough is enough,” cut yourself some slack, and re-prioritize. And don’t forget to rest.

Or maybe you’ve given up completely on something you really feel passionate about, figuring that you’ll never have enough time. Maybe you don’t push yourself toward it because you figure, what’s the point? It may be time for you to set a manageable goal and start plugging away at it. 

Whichever end of the Type A/Type B spectrum you find yourself on, it’s not too late to creep a little closer to center. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to take this quiet moment to work on some lovely picture book manuscripts I’ve been neglecting.

…Right after I edit this one last document.